A turning point in life is what it takes

Happy Birthday!
Weiyi and Si Min.

{Add-on} My sister wants to share the cost for Weiyi's and Weihui's presents now 'cause she's broke and now I'm 16 bucks poorer. Er, Weihui, don't pay me the 8 bucks you owe me, treat it as your crumpler bag fund.

Things I wanna do this December:

• Bake cookies for Christmas
• Collect my spectacles
• Start frequent visits to library
• Watch To Kill a Mockingbird
• Watch Romeo & Juliet
• Buy Madeline's present
• Buy Beatrice's present
• Buy Ziyi's present
• Buy Weiyi's present
• Buy Weihui's present
• Buy Christel's present
• Buy Emily's present
• Out with mum's side relatives

I'm going to share with Emily to buy Christel's present as well. Anyone wants to share and but Emily her present? Yesterday I did wrapping, which was apparently useless 'cause Weiyi and Weiui already know what their presents are. And then I thought I wrapped Madeline's, Beatrice's and Ziyi's presents very horridly so I tore it all up. I never wrap presents, it irritates me so much. Going to watch Zathura with Madeline and Beatrice on Monday at Cineleisure, Ziyi's overseas, I think. {/Add-on}

Have I ever thought of what I wanna be in the future? Yes, in Primary One or Two. The teachers always ask what the innocent kids, whose brains have not fully developed, this question. When my brain was not fully developed, my teacher asked me this as well. Not even knowing what the world was like, I said I wanted to be a nurse- who can help nurse people back to health. Later on when I was asked the second or third time, my ambition changed. I wanted to be a teacher- who can teach the younger generations and sort of serve the country. Then, I wanted to be a doctor- who can save lives. Now I am really confused, I don't know what to be. An entrepreneur? Yeah, like what? What am I going to sell, what am I going to invest on. I used to think that maybe my sister can design clothings since she's so good at Arts. Then I'd sell her products and we earn money together and make our brand branded. I would really want to do that but now's too early to say.
I envy people who have quite obvious talents which would help them in choosing their careers one day. But I don't have one. Don't tell me my talent is Art, that's my sister's. She took all the Arts genes and left none for me since I'm the second child. I don't like Art anyway. But I think I took the Clever genes instead but didn't make full use of them. Don't tell me Sports, I don't have the stamina and I'm one big fat ass. Don't tell me Social skills, I have none. Don't tell me language and damned Literature, I can't speak fluently, nor am I bilingual. Don't tell me mathematics, I failed so many quizzes though I do better in actual tests and my GPA for that was 4.0 fortunately. I take a very long time to understand math. I can't think of any more career routes, I'm left with Humanities and Sciences.
Humanities, is that Geography and History? But anyway I'm referring to these two subjects. I like geography- my notes on Geography's the best. History is interesting too. But that doesn't mean anything 'cause my results show otherwise. I got 3.6 GPA for both of the subjects. In addition, I don't wanna be an environmentalist, or whatever you call someone who studies Geography, I don't wanna be an archaeologist either.
Sciences, now I start to doubt my ability to study Science 'cause I flunked my Physics and Biology tests. Luckily Chemistry and Nature Practice of Science pulled me up and I got that 3.6 GPA. I could have jolly well gotten 2.0 without the first two modules. Was it that I didn't pay enough attention in class? Was it that I thought I was so great with full marks for Nature Practice of Science and 27/30 for Cheimstry? If that was the case, I really have to give myself a tight slap for being stuck-up. I'm really left with no choices of career. I wanna give my best shot at Sciences next year and open a new route- being a doctor. But I'm really scared of gory stuff. Like blood, intestines, flesh, bones.
I'm a loser, I have no skills, no intelligence, no talents, no genes, no ability. I wish I would really find my talent hidden somewhere under my bed.
I don't wanna waste my time on retarded MMORPG games like Maple Story. What's the use of being authoritative and powerful with a high level and trying to be ultra rich in the game. Nothing, not even one percent of it can be brought into real life. I wanna sell my account, my sister sold her A3 account for 150 bucks. Mine can fetch at least 40. Anyone interested?
I realised I've spent almost two or three years of time using the computer, facing countless amounts of radiation which could have made my health deteriorate. What's the use of going on MSN and talk aimlessly with your contacts, what's the use of making nice blog skins, what's the use of using Friendster, what's the use of all these? Nothing, that's why.
I wanna start anew, I wanna make the right choices. I don't wanna waste any more time no more in the unreal world of internet. Anyone interested to go to the library and read books?

I found out a reason for me,
to change who I used to be.